My phone buzzed on the kitchen counter yesterday afternoon.
I was in the middle of wrestling with a stubborn jar of pickles, so I ignored it. A minute later, it buzzed again.
“Probably just a sale notification,” I muttered to myself.
But when I finally wiped my hands and picked it up, I saw a picture message from my husband, David.
It was a photo of a beat-up, sky-blue vintage pickup truck parked on the side of a country road.
Underneath it, his text read:
“Saw this and thought of you. Remember that crazy road trip we took to Asheville in that old clunker right after we got married? Best trip ever.”
I stood there, pickle jar forgotten, and just smiled. We hadn’t talked about that trip in years.
It wasn’t our anniversary. It wasn’t a special occasion. It was just a random Tuesday.
But in the middle of his busy workday, something sparked a memory of me of us and he took a moment to share it.
That simple text message held more weight than a dozen roses.
Because it wasn’t about a grand gesture. It was a whisper-quiet confirmation of a beautiful truth: after 22 years, I’m still on his mind.
If you’re in the dizzying, hope-filled early stages of dating or even a few years into a relationship, I know the question that can live rent-free in your head: “Is he thinking about me?”�
It’s a question that can make you feel both incredibly vulnerable and wonderfully alive.
So let’s sit down, pour something comforting, and talk about it.
Because after years of dating before I met David and decades of marriage to David I’ve learned that the loudest clues are often the quietest.
The real proof isn’t in the fireworks; it’s in the steady, gentle hum of connection that happens when you’re not even in the room.
First, Let’s Be Gentle With Ourselves
Before we start decoding his every move, let’s get one thing straight: wanting to know if you’re on his mind doesn’t make you needy or insecure.
It makes you human. We are created for connection.
We want to know that we matter to the people who matter to us.
So, take a deep breath and release any judgment you have about this desire.
It’s a beautiful, normal part of opening your heart.
Alright, ready? Let’s look at some of the real, tangible signs he’s thinking of you, even when you’re apart.
Unpacking the Clues: How to Know If He Thinks About You
This isn’t about looking for a magic formula, but about recognizing patterns of genuine care.
When a man is truly invested, his thoughts naturally drift toward you, and that inevitably spills out into his actions.
1. The Out-of-the-Blue “Thought of You” Message
This is my gold standard, just like David’s text about the truck.
It’s not a “Hey, u up?” text at 11 p.m. It’s a midday message with no agenda other than connection.
It could be a link to an article he thinks you’d like, a picture of a dog that looks like yours, or a song he just heard on the radio.
It’s his way of saying, “My world just bumped into your world, and I wanted you to know.”
These little pings are one of the surest signs he’s thinking of you.
2. He Remembers the Tiniest Details
Back when David and I were first dating, I mentioned off-hand once that I hated dill in my potato salad.
It was a throwaway comment. Two months later, we were at a company picnic, and I saw him asking the caterer what was in the potato salad before he brought me a plate.
I almost cried right there into the coleslaw.
When a man remembers the small, seemingly insignificant details you share your favorite coffee order, the name of your childhood pet, a story about your grandmother it’s because he’s not just hearing you; he’s filing those details away in a part of his brain and heart labeled “Her.”
3. He Weaves You Into His Future (Near and Far)
This is a big one. Pay attention to his language. Is he using “I” or “we”?
A man who isn’t serious will say, “I’m thinking of going to a concert next month.”
A man who has you on his mind will say, “Hey, we should go to that concert next month.”
He sees you as a part of his landscape.
He’s not just planning his next date with you; he’s picturing his life with you in it, whether it’s next week’s dinner or next summer’s vacation.
4. You’re His Go-To Person (for the Good, the Bad, and the Boring)
When he gets great news about a promotion, who is the first person he calls?
When he has a frustrating day and just needs to vent, is he reaching out to you?
This is how you know he thinks about you as an integral part of his life, not just a fun accessory.
Being his “first call” means you’re his partner, his sounding board, and his safe place to land.
5. His Friends and Family Know About You Before They Meet You
I will never forget the first time I met David’s college buddies.
One of them slapped him on the back and said, “So you’re the famous Charlotte!
We’ve heard all about the girl who can quote The Princess Bride from start to finish.”
I was mortified and thrilled all at once.
If his inner circle knows details about you, it’s irrefutable proof that he’s talking about you when you’re not around.
He’s proud of you, he’s excited about you, and he is always thinking about me is no longer a question, but a reality.
Finding Clarity in the Quiet
Sometimes, even with all these signs, our own anxieties can cloud our judgment.
We over-analyze a text or get spooked by a day of silence.
In those moments of doubt, when I need to quiet my own noisy brain, I turn to a source of perfect peace.
A Prayer for a Clear Heart
I’ve learned that I can’t force an answer, but I can pray for clarity.
I can ask God to help me see the situation for what it is, not what my fears tell me it might be.
If you’re wondering, “does he think about me?” and the uncertainty is stealing your peace, I invite you to pray this with me:
Lord, quiet my anxious heart. Help me to see this man clearly the way You see him. If this connection is a gift from You, reveal it through his consistent kindness and genuine care. Shield me from confusion and grant me the wisdom to recognize a heart that is truly turning toward mine. Let me rest in Your timing and trust in Your plan. Amen.
A Final Thought: You are a Destination, Not a Detour
Think of a man’s heart and mind like a map.
For some women in his past, they may have been a temporary stop, a scenic detour.
But the signs we’ve talked about? They are different.
They are the landmarks that show he’s not just passing through.
They show that on his map, all roads are starting to lead to you. You are becoming a destination.
You deserve to be with someone who thinks of you on a random Tuesday afternoon.
Someone who remembers the little things and eagerly plans for the big ones.
Trust those quiet, consistent signs. They are the truest compass you will find.
You are worthy of being on someone’s mind and in their heart, always. Don’t you ever forget it.